The Coolest Thing I Ever Made

I really admire my friends (you know who you are) who create blogs and update them regularly. Especially those of you who are parents. I can still carry this kid around with me wherever I go without it being able to voice any protest, (other than a swift punt to the ribs) but people with real live babies who blog... you are an elite fighting machine. I salute you. I am creating this pregnancy and post-partum blog as I enter my 30th week of growing a kid. That's about my pace. Late is my pace. Flaky and inconsistent is also my pace. But I flake with heart.

Why blog now? Now that I resemble a dirigible; (both in the sense that I am roundish and in the sense that I am gas-filled) only now, after the surprise of finding one's self pregnant has faded; now when it is truly least convenient to try and get anything done because my every attempt at productivity is interrupted by pee-breaks...

There are a few reasons why. If you are not interested in them, please enjoy the scroll-bar for your convenience.

Reason One: I just started summer school and I immediately need something that will facilitate procrastination. YOU try taking Tax Law when your little tax-deduction is making you feeble minded and feeble-bladdered. (PS, is anyone else really upset by the word "bladder"? Just wondering.)

Reason Two: The baby has a lot of family in Kansas and they don't get to spend any time watching subcutaneous undulations and watching me waddle around like one of those geese from the Aristocats. (Please, God, let that reference strike a chord for someone.) So I thought a blog might be one way to update the far-flung family. Although, I don't know if these are really things they want to experience. But the pictures! At least there will be pictures!

Reason Three: Lots of women keep journals about pregnancy that they say they read later or save for their kids to read. Blogging about this period is slightly less repugnant to me than journaling about it. Unfortunately, I think any willingness to "journal" (which I really resent as a verb) was deflated for me when I was dumb enough to crack and review one of my tween-aged diaries as an adult. I don't know if any of you have had this experience, but revisiting myself at that age was really scarring and sort of nauseating. I thought it might be safer to never record one's innermost thoughts, ever, ever. Or they should make those little locks harder to pick. One or the other.

And now a disclaimer. I have tried blogging before... and failed. I am going to make a concerted effort to keep this one alive for longer than a month. I hope I can rely on the rigors of Tax Law to keep me motivated.

Since I am launching this thing at 7.5 months, I suppose a little review is in order. Again... there is nothing wrong with scrolling down. I will never find out. Feel free to treat this blog as one of those boring books with glossy picture inserts.

To start, a few images of pregnant me, taken before I knew there was any kind of baby inside me. And yet, there was. Which I now reflect on as being sort of creepy. This section also be titled, "Questionable Things You Can Do While Pregnant and Still Enjoy Your Healthy Baby (I hope)".

That hand could be anyones, so why don't you stop judging me.

At least this child has a parent who has been to Disneyland often enough to know where all the ride-cameras are. That counts as a parenting skill. Look it up.

And to provide proof that I did not stunt the growth of our child by riding rollercoasters and (allegedly) enjoying innocuous glasses of white wine I bought in Disney's California Adventure:

This concludes my first installment. Frankly I am bushed from trying to figure out how to format this stuff. If any of you succesful/prolific bloggers want to help me learn how to insert pictures in a less haphazard way, I (and anyone else who has the misfortune to stumble upon this blog) would really appreciate the tips.

Thanks for your kind attention.